The Power of Language

I've long understood that language is an important part of identity, but I'm finding out just how powerful the connection is on this trip.

I am a very verbal person. I read, write, and speak as we all do, but it's an especially important part of my life as an academic. These are the tools of my trade, and I've worked hard to develop them over the years. As a result, I'm not only proficient in my native language, but rely on nuances of expression and vocabulary to get my ideas across. I say things with a certain turn-of-phrase or a particular kind of inflection to make a subtle point. My ability to use the finer points of language is a crucial part of how I communicate with others.

But here, much of that ability is gone. My French is OK, especially my reading knowledge. But speaking and especially listening has always been difficult. To be deprived of a central aspect of what I'm used to doing on a daily basis has proven to be a bigger challenge than I expected. It means that, at least with the French, I can't fully be myself because so much of who I am is expressed in what I say and how I say it.

There are plenty of English speakers here, of course, and with them I can say what I really mean. But sitting in a cafe surrounded by nothing but French can be quite isolating. It means that I can't fully connect with the world around me and that, in some way, a part of me is missing.